Why I do this
My name is Kishan. I drank heavily for five years and tried to quit for three. I read the books, changed routines, and sat through a 10-day silent retreat. Nothing held. I drank at a wedding the night the retreat ended.
Then my grandmother died. The 13-day mourning period became the longest sober stretch I'd had in years. A few weeks later, a friend asked how I wanted to be remembered. The question landed. I quit in 2023.
Stopping changed a lot. It did not change the job I didn't care about, the body I'd ignored, or the question of what I was doing with my life. I was sober and stable, but still stuck.
Before this, I worked in finance and short-selling. My job was finding the detail that did not match the story a company was telling. Eventually I started using the same lens on myself. What did I say mattered? What did my behavior show? What kept appearing in the gap?
That is the work I now do with clients. Not helping them quit. Not treating addiction. Helping people who have already stopped turn the life they keep talking about into something they can test, track, and build.
Rudra is the remover of sorrow. Destruction before renewal. Quitting ends one thing. The rebuild begins another.